footnotes

as funny as this may seem

this reminds me of you completely

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i get asked many questions,

 and i always want to reply with the best answer,

 but instead i reply with, "no comment."

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t r u t h

shaky hands

shaky minds

e a s e yourself.

s a v e yourself.

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old videos.

this was sometime this past year, in the winter, when i was with krysten at sonic.

i swear all of my videos are taken at sonic, it's the one place i think to video...

reminds me of the commercials so we try to remake one, only krysten forgot the plan (she forgot we were recording, and then the waitress order taker SUCKED and it fucked up the whole thing, im pretty sure it makes it even better when its not intentional!!) So instead i look like a dumbass. haha love it xo.

A G A I N 

another sonic video, i told you.

this was this year with my little kitten mama megan. 

i dont know when it went from a wholesome informative dance video to sex education

to be the caption, but it did.

you have been warned.

and me and megan look ridiculous... love her.

i did indeed bitch out a few people today at work.

i am not getting tricked into doing shitty tasks and horrid times of the day for no extra pay.

i like fair trade and work.

im not letting miss "im pregnant every other week" little mama, get all the good hours of the day.

so i finally put my foot down, opened my big mouth, and held back on putting my foot up someone's ass.

(now i can laugh it off)

currently listening to:

linger- the cranberries

If you, if you could return, don't let it burn, don't let it fade. 

I'm sure I'm not being rude, but it's just your attitude, 
It's tearing me apart, It's ruining everything. 

I swore, I swore I would be true, and honey, so did you. 
So why were you holding her hand? Is that the way we stand? 
Were you lying all the time? Was it just a game to you? 

But I'm in so deep. You know I'm such a fool for you. 
You got me wrapped around your finger, ah, ha, ha. 
Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to, 
Do you have to let it linger? 

Oh, I thought the world of you. 
I thought nothing could go wrong, 
But I was wrong. I was wrong. 
If you, if you could get by, trying not to lie, 
Things wouldn't be so confused and I wouldn't feel so used, 
But you always really knew, I just wanna be with you. 

But I'm in so deep. You know I'm such a fool for you. 
You got me wrapped around your finger, ah, ha, ha. 

Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to, 
Do you have to let it linger? 

And I'm in so deep. You know I'm such a fool for you. 
You got me wrapped around your finger, ah, ha, ha. 
Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to, 
Do you have to let it linger? 

You know I'm such a fool for you. 
You got me wrapped around your finger, ah, ha, ha. 
Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to, 
Do you have to let it linger? 

this band is for sure one of my tops by far.

they have been playing in my ears since i was a child,

my mom and dad being together is the best memory the cranberries and fleetwood mac bring back.

im thankful for them.

xo

one thing i ask.

"Nothing of me is original.

 I am the combined effort of everybody I've ever known."

 - Chuck Palahnuik (Invisible Monsters)

xo.

 

aklsfn;agAawf

fyi

you are my jail and your kiss is my guillotine.

These hands will come around. You'll love their touch again.

Remember when i was so

 strange and likable.

i wanted you to be the one to hold the strings.

i'm so into you baby i can't get into nothing else.

You say my love for you's not real, but you don't know

 how

 real it feels.

lay me out on the table

i want to be able to feel your touch.

it's not too much to ask.

but it feels like it is.

xx

Mmmm

im swaying.

im swaying.

this music is making me fall in love.

i want to move to it.

i want to touch to it.

i want to kiss to it and love to it.

run my fingers through it.

listen.

highs & lows

i'm pretty sure i feel nervous in the pit of my stomach "d a i l y"

i think it's because of a certain someone. 

not knowing if i'm going to hear from them that day or when if i am..

haha. i feel anxious all the time.

keeps me on my toes.

tonight i took a hot bath 

listening to the song i had posted 

by Dolores and Angelo- The Butterfly, on repeat.

constantly longing for your touch...

mood: having a strong sexual appetite [sigh]

after:

me and my little cousin Kelsee made cupcakes

 for my co-workers birthday.

now.

I'm waiting for a phone call while i lie in bed,

but who knows if i'll get one.

posted later: 

"i never did get that call"

GOODNIGHT.

a real indication

D I Y

im going to start doing some DIY projects again soon.

for sure when i move, but i'll try to do some while i have some spare time in la too i suppose.

x.

i am only going to show you love.

and make my caring for you known.

don't be frightened.

how could you imagine a distant me and you

for distance alone is the only one thing that separates us

to make something sour out of something so beautiful would be torture

think of it as a fair trade of give and take

soon we will be given a chance to take one another's hearts and make something even more beautiful out of it

i love this whole writing down feelings deal again.

i miss it.

oh the power of the mind & heart.

talk

i just got done discussing my life aka: future, with the family i'm staying with at the moment since being kicked out of my house about two months ago...

it looks like i have to get my ass in order so i can get on with it.

i wish money would fall in my lap.

i wish i would finish my schooling and get at least an ass. degree.

i wish i had no debt from school loans.

i wish i had a boyfriend.

i wish i had a car- yes i did just say that- and maybe i'll get one.

honestly...

i'll have to deal with bills.

it looks like it.

i miss daysha.

xo.

plain

i am crazy about a lot of things currently.

while i lay here and type this i am listening to Silencio by Angelo Babalamenti & David Lynch.

i am rubbing my eyes and trying to clear them of smoke and mascara from the show tonight.

honestly i don't have much to say tonight- yes tonight.

going to bed i have to wake up at 5:30 to go garage selling with my mum and then off to work at 10am.

J O Y

sweet dreams.

Create a playlist at MixPod.com

...

be in awe.

THIS is music.

enjoy

my suicide

i just had a sick thought, or a day dream.

i had rigged up a "weed eater" somehow,

and i was going to use it to slit my neck...

talk about scary.              

       

[the worst part is i saw it happening]

this afternoon me and my friend/future roommate Drew had a day.

we went to Luna's to have lunch (my favorite restaurant)

then we went thrifting. i spent more than i should have (CURSE ME)

but i did find some amazing things.

he got a killer necklace and ring that i was eyeing.. damn boys..

i'm still in search for the perfect ring (for someone else) but i guess this one was for drew.. 

maybe next time.

(pictures coming soon)

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i'm falling in love with this.

the last video i have posted is so deeply touching i can't 

even explain it..

this strange peculiar emotion consumes me and my face is left wet from tears.

all of the videos above are by This Mortal Coil

Im also listening to Cocteau Twins.

Maybe i'll post a video tomorrow .

recall

i miss my bangs.

i know i have been indecisive lately with what i want to do with my hair, 

but i do honestly miss my blunt cut across the front look bangs.

what do you think?

the two people in this picture are Leah and Brett.

brett is still around, but my leah baby isn't :[

she lives in Texas but that doesn't mean anything.

I HATE what happens when you stop talking to people and they become a distant past.

im going to change this, mark my words.

i miss her to death!!!

<3

W O A H - she did NOT just IM me on ichat WHAT THE FUCK

SOOOO strange. wow. i just jizzed in my pants....

hahahahaha

love this love this love this.

it's a fucking sign

news flash, i have been getting called "Lydia Deetes" at work.

which just so happens to be the lovely teen played in one of my favorite movies. Beetlejuice. 

when i first got called this name i jumped up in the air about three times and laughed.

love it.

by the way:

H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y M U M

my mum is 44 today.

F A C T S (that you don't know)

i live in La. (louisiana)

-and i hate it here-

Soon, i will be spreading my wings elsewhere:

Nashville, Tn to be exact.

-and i cannot wait-

this move has been postponed for the past month, and we are changing dates yet again.

i just got a new job that will help me make the money i need to do so.

and im not going to quit until i've saved up enough.

i will be moving with one of my closest friends:

D R E W-M A R T I N

he's lovely!

and a complete ASS at times.

but we are to one another and that's the best part of this friendship & move.

we better control this whole fucking around with one another thing though before someone's feelings get hurt, and they won't be mine. . .

haha.

and i haven't seen his ass in almost a week WTF

so this post is for him and to let everyone know what's going on.

so drew, here's to you:

(These pics were taken in Tn)

nashville misses us

we are both ready as fuck to get out of this bunk ass town.

note to readers:

he's going to kill me from posting these god awful pictures... hahaha

unnecessary purchases

it never fails.

i always seem to get sucked in to the buyers curse of purchasing something i do not need when i have no money. I don't even get paid for another two weeks. and my last pay check from my old job is wearing thin (if even there anymore, crosses fingers). good thing i kept a paycheck to the side..

NOTE TO SELF:

don't forget to pay your credit card bill by the 10th. 

So i was just going to go with my cousin to the store to pick up some perceptions and go get gas, when we decided to drive into town to buy some new sheets for her.. That's when i needed to just say no-but i caved. and i decided to bring my purse inside. I found a kick ass pair of gaudy  black leather wedges with an overkill of buckles. i love them! they were in both tan & black but i couldn't resist the black (of course). Then i found a pair of round framed sunnies, beings that i broke mine last week.  

once again, i fail (at saving) but not at looking stylish...

xo.

  

M O O D :

lonely...

in my dreams.

I went to the  christian louboutin site today and spotted these babies.

[paola booty] - crepe satin and stripped lace with a 12 cm heel.

i want...

c a s u a l

c a s u a l

i honestly don't think i can pull this off

"curse my short frame"

but they are kick ass- check out the DM site for florals, again, BADASS.

photo courtesy of my friend peyton.

need

this bag = sex.

i adore it.

I've been looking for a nice black leather bag for sometime now.

my mom actually got a great deal about a month ago at an estate sale and got a brand new kenneth cole bag for 35$.

It was brand new and its amazing. im jealous and beg her to let me keep it every time i see her. 

but i know there is a nicer black leather bag with all the hardware somewhere out there waiting for me.

"to bad i am saving up my money for my move to Nashville.

because i would def. be investing in some threads."

your eyes they hold the truth.

inspiration

inspiration

inspiration

includes:

gareth pugh

(who isn't shown on this post)

these are a bit "much",

 but i adore them.

they aren't a designer label at all even.

which seems so strange to me.

they are just a 5 and a quarter inch heel, patent leather, buckle and lace up thigh high boot.

im obsessed.

i might only be 5'4 but i will reach my dream height of 5'9! (so exciting)

god in the future bless me with longer legs- PLEASE!

"finger" gloves.

a m a z i n g

A L S O

i've been terribly sick the past five days. 

the heat is getting

 to me the cigarettes are getting to me the 

miles are getting to me.

(i must say i LOVE my new job-and the pay is great)

it keeps me busy too, i should have had a 9-5 job from the beginning. 

tonight i feel like death is consuming me. I almost didn't post a blog b

ecause of this horrid sickness.

i might even call in to work tomorrow morning if i dont start feeling better.

other than that i have been fashion blogging like CRAZY, anytime i get a

 free chance im looking at other posts and thoughts

. I love it. although i don't even know these people i feel like i do in some sense.

its lovely.

i'll keep saving images onto my macbookpro and digging throughblogs a

nd maybe i'll start showing you what & how i feel through here. i think im

 getting better at knowing how to use this. (obviously)

caption: breathing...

this picture-- i'd have to say i'm thinking about someone right this moment,

and just about every other moment before and after that.

making me a creep right??

to bad i dont even care.

my feelings are shaken up every time i think about him,

i miss him

i want to touch him

feel his lips on mine

feel the heat of that persons body on mine

looking into their eyes

being silent and not needing words.

.....

night xo.

 

night visions.

tonight i thought alot about villains.

villain |ˈvilən|noun1 a person guilty or capable of a crime or wickedness.• the person or thing responsible for specified trouble, harm, or damage : the industrialized nations are the real environmental villains.• (in a play or novel) a character whose evil actions or motives are important to the plot.2 archaic variant spelling of villein .DERIVATIVESvillainess |ˈvilənəs| |ˈvɪlənəs| nounORIGIN Middle English (in the sense [a rustic, boor] ): from Old Frenchvilein, based on Latin villa (see villa ).i thought to myself and tried to take myself back to my younger years, where i would sit in a room alone and watch movies about tales and fairies of anoher world far beyond this one we live in, and the characters and how the were portrayed. Some magical and mystical some beautiful and some disturbing, and then the villains and evil doers. They play a specific role in a girls mind i think... or i thought tonight.
along with villains came a strong stand on things. thats when i came across this:

goodnight (for now at least)

perfect perfect perfect:
although i wish i weren't feeling so ill.




daria used to be my most favorite show as a kid- even though i would have been punished if i ever got caught watching MTV.
my mom was disgusted with all of it all together once she had kids of her own.. ha
props to dad who would supervise my watching. (love you pops)




CHOLE+studs+leather boots= jealous. so amazing.