Monday, August 31, 2009


no.15 STELLA MCCARTNEY perforated thigh high boots *

no.14 PROENZA SCHOULER studded leather boots

no.13 mimi holliday by damaris

no.12 MARKUS LUPFER roisin star jacket

no.11 MARC JACOBS suede molded ankle boots

no.10 lara bohnic "APOLLO" ring

no.9 JUST CAVALLI satin fishtail grown *

no.8 HALSTON printed jersey dress

no.7 GIVENCHY lace-up leather boots

no.6 FENDI molded leather bustier

no.5 CAMILLA SKOVGAARD satin chain embellished sandals

no.4 BARBARA-BUI-black-cut-out-leather-lowboots *

no.3 BALMAIN buckle embellished boots

no.2 AZZEDINE alail leather cut out shoe boot

no.1 ALEXANDER MCQUEEN python cluth with rings

get well.

college sucked the life out of me.
i haven't been back there in some time now...
im getting better.

[self portrait]


i hate not knowing- i hate not knowing if people are okay,
if they are the good or if they are the bad.
if the are trustworthy or if they are unreliable.
i hate the unknown at times.
esp. with people.
i hate that people can't be upfront and honest.
if there is something wrong if there is something you feel is not right,
tell someone. dont play it off.
that is only playing the fool.
you are not only hurting yourself but you are hurting others with the fallacy you are acting on.
i wish people would just let their guard down and just let someone IN.

i won't judge you but i will wonder if you keep things from me, 
or hide something, that makes me feel uneasy.
im just saying...
are scary.

anxiety comes with a ring ring ring.

later post:
everything is great/wonderful.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

haven't said much on here in a few days..
i have been staying with sarah & drew.
doing what anyone would want to do:
being lazy and sitting around the house drinking wine and whatnot.
it's been lovely.

last night i had a panic attack.
i don't know how im going to be able to sleep alone much longer
ESP when i move.
there will need to be someone in my house at all times.


can someone do me a huge favor
and just help me deal with growing up.
this whole me being 20 and feeling like im 24
minus all the responsibilities i HAVEN'T yet had to deal with.
(it's coming fast & soon)
im not ready. 

Saturday, August 29, 2009

"I know that I was lost
And I know that it was too too hard
And although it isn't much
I give you all I have. 

There's a mirror in the old place
A place where we would stand
And wonder at our sweet sweet selves
Smiling hand in hand
This wasn't what we planned."

"Though the night has fallen
I close my eyes and imagine 
A tiny glimmer flickering on the horizon.

It takes time to get it right
Takes no time to get it wrong.
I can't believe I didn't see
The ground was caving in

Oh, can we just start again?"

"Everyday, everyday
Living my life like it's over
Like it's over and deep underground.

Little look, little smile
Flick the switch and it's over
Like it's lost and can never be found.

But maybe there's a tiny glow
That won't die and won't leave us. A lone
Star shining. The sun is rising.

There's a tiny glimmer flickering on the horizon.
Can you see it? Can you see it there?
Can you see it? Can you see it there's
A tiny glimmer flickering on the horizon. "


Friday, August 28, 2009

the feeling (or knowing):
coming to the conclusion that we are not a single being/soul.
i am, yes, one person living breathing feeling, but what if there is another "being" sharing my same soul, no matter the sex. But a living person looks that are not shared with yours but a purpose and a soul and spirit that are.
i say to someone that i do indeed have dejavu all of the time. but dejavu is what really.. is it the feeling we have been somewhere or seen something in the past that is happening in the present, or is it in fact a place or an occurrence that has happened to our other half (being/soul/spirit) already. i don't ness. mean in another life- but im not against that either- im simply meaning NOW in let's say- michigan, is there a soul roaming that i can relate to because i share the soul of that being. WHO ARE WE? WHAT ARE WE? WHERE ARE WE?

gosh my mind is racing right now.
im just going to continue to wonder or "wander" (ha)

i'm not here to please you.

- just got told i look like a witch and it isn't attractive.

(this isn't the first time, i have gotten told i look like im either fucking someone or satan's best friend, also that i look like a whore, or a gypsy (which i think is a compliment) or i get told im of the dark side...)
these things you say mean nothing to me but i would love it if you kept it to yourself.

like i said im not here to please anyone.
im me for myself.
and i like what and who i am.

i probably won't take your advice (friend or foe) 
simply because i "probably" have no respect for you.
this doesn't count for all of you, but many.

im one.
im no ones.
and im not yours to critique for damn sure.
im comfortable in my skin.
and i think that is what matters most.

aren't i right???
correct me if im wrong (please)

Thursday, August 27, 2009

no. 4

new purchases:
(indian tunic & vintage mens "metal edge" ring in sterling silver)

no. 3

new purchase:
(sequin vintage vest)

no. 2

no. 1

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

new shoes:
i love the straps!!
i just wish they were taller and had a platform but im glad i purchased them!
b a r g i n ($17.00)

"She's from a world
Of popcorn and candy..."

i havent heard
this song in a while
so i wanted to listen and share.

Dyke Wednesday

i thought ahead- i don't want to get kidnapped while walking around town so i dress like a dyke. i even wore my keys on my belt loop. . enjoy.

and to the right of me