new vintage nightgown

"i have had a horrible day."

& now im sick with a migraine.

taking a candle lit bath then off to bed..

- i got my eyebrows waxed today & (cried because of the result) 

- didn't get my hair dyed or cut.

so im not a happy camper.

UGH.

B T W:

leaving tomorrow night for 

[n a s h v i l l e, Tennessee.]

be there soon.

i'm so ready.

Dress: secondhand

Lipstick: blackcherry

long time no see

tonight was brilliant.

me, megan, jess, and ariane.

the night started with a guitar and the new prien lake park.

and ended with tea from starbucks and about a dozen mosquito bites.

but it was all worth it..

i haven't hung out with those girls in forever.

meg's due any minute now- and i feel so far away and distant with her.

we vowed to do this more often and i decided why not tomorrow sooo same time tomorrow we will all be back together sharing time with one another.

this time at the beach- can't wait.

xox

tonight was needed more than most things

what everyone thinks but never says:

Need to know 

I don't wanna know 

Already know 

I've seen the signs 

I watch you as you pull yourself away from me 

Can't believe 

I wanna believe 

How can i believe 

You're making me doubt 

I thought i knew you 

I don't even know myself

... 

breaking my heart again- aqualung

r e m a k e

not even stones, could break his walls.

T H I S 

is exactly what i want.

wildfox couture

Pisces: i live in a fantasy world.

(i guess they're right)

 

w i l d f o x couture

looks up and thinks:

seems to me like everyone is "smitten" these days.

what happened...

[i'm in hiding.]

soft touches

i can't wait for the day i get to turn this into something beautiful.

"i desire to inspire"

xo

CourtneyDawn

P.S.

it happened again today

this time i didn't have to say anything first

(delightful)

oh & still job hunting

C O M M E N T if you think of any advice or places to apply

goodnight

poem

not so fresh thoughts

-a few months old.

never posted.

and the heavens opened to fill your life with worth 

for just a moment. 

you thought there was no way out 

but just then your life's roses once again bloomed

and filled the room with scents from ages before.

your face turned a sort of pink 

and the shades of grey no longer were present. 

your eyes that have forever been glazed were now soft and aware.

sunlight beemed down on that awkward face of yours 

and smiles from deep inside of you came into sight. 

the day was no longer blue but silver.

the day was what you made it.

- CourtneyDawnWilks

music

 s i l e n t  v i o l e t 

s i l e n t  v i o l e t

s i l e n t  v i o l e t

s i l e n t  v i o l e t

s i l e n t  v i o l e t

s i l e n t  v i o l e t

s i l e n t  v i o l e t

s i l e n t  v i o l e t

daily no. 1

You know when you want:

to tell someone "hello"

or "how are you doing today"

just to start conversation...

Y E A H

i usually am the one to do just that,

but with this person,

sometimes i just wish it were different.

sometimes, it is.

but then

i think to myself..

i guess you don't see me that way

hahah

at least i find my ways humorous.

 

I could be impossible

maybe i haven't realized it yet

By The Way:

im looking for a job in NASHVILLE TN.

if ANYONE reads this and knows of anywhere hiring.

P  L  E  A  S  E

notify me.

retail is my forte' (obviously)

xox

cdw

ps: i cannot believe i just wrote this..

it isn't about who you might think...

goodnight

pixie market

p i x i e  m a r k e t

p i x i e  m a r k e t

s a l e

s a l e

a little "katy perry"

yes i did just quote that

you know why...

 

I just redid this post.

its a little obnoxious. 

it makes no point.

and there isn't info on anything.

(knock of Chole' booties)

(and a pricey dress i found on a 75% off rack)

i think i want to alter the bottom- a little to long for my tastes.

√∫

"The Lacie garter"

only 18$ @ VS

g e t   y o u r s   n o w

p a y l e s s

These shoes are by far

the tease for me.

     A new look at Alice+Olivia

For Payless..

                                                                                          

                                                 

theses babies are able 

to be purchased for 50$ 

and totally worth it.. 

 

C&C

c l i n t & c o u r t n e y

n i g h t

rum and coke

B U R N (bitch)

don't correct me when im blogging...

i always list what im currently listening to- but im embarrassed.. so N O

xo.

c-d-w

ps: i look like shit.

ha.

b l o w j o b

JUST GOT ASKED TO GIVE A BLOWJOB!!!

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME

JOKE OR NOT

(AND THAT I WONT KNOW)

NEVER SPEAKING TO YOU AGAIN

BASTARD

IT WAS

OUT OF CON_FUCKING_TROL

AND UNCALLED FOR.

listening to Mulholland Drive Soundtrack- by David Lynch

I NEED PEACE AFTER THIS ONE.

k i s s

i want to be trapped in a kiss

held tightly

bound by another

set on fire

kissed gently

kissed roughly

feel passion

taste

touch

grab

pull

love

The Chameleons

l i v e & r e c o r d e d

the chameleons

joy division

take the next 5 to 6 mins. to just be silent.

light a candle.

b r e a t h.

and relax.

What to Do

so, i have

things to do

 before i move:

find a car

find a job

pack up my old room back at home

pack up my new room

Im realizing my living arrangements now are great

i have just what i need to survive and other than all of my furniture and decor at my old house and vinyls this is all i need

I DONT WANT TO PACK UP MY OLD ROOM

ITS A WASTE OF TIME AND THERE IS NO WAY THERE

IS ENOUGH SPACE IN NASHVILLE FOR ALL OF ME

what to do.

random

m y  n i g h t  i s 

s o r t  o f  r a n d o m.

 

search:

rei kawakubo

ella fitzgerald

blush wine

Dear diary,

Tonight, I'm alone-

Wanting to sip on some blush wine and watch the food network or some old Molly Ringwald movie, assemble my two side end coffee tables, and possibly sit on the porch swing with a cigarette between my pointer and middle finger [in my right hand] and just think about life and listen to sweet sweet music.

 - - - those things are: w o n d e r f u l, in my mind- - -

If only i were to have another soul to share this with (in a physical state, as well as in conversation and mentally) SOON i will.

I do not think i ask for much these days, or ever really... I might mention the things that i want in this world for kicks if anything, in my mind i know i won't really ever get them, but knowing that i can say it out loud and not lose anything, is lovely no matter.

and i dream.. my outlook is rather positive (on good days)

just keep a smile on. 

and come help me put this table together of  course!

it's getting on my last nerve haha.

xoxo

c-d-w

testing out the job scene in nashville 

on the 3-4 of Oct.

wish me luck

this is MY new VIA SPIGA black leather purse.

-starting price- $350.00

-bought for- $30.00

(priced wrong)

yay for me 

xoxox

impressive

o n e w e e k

& 

o n e d a y

(it actually has been quite nice)

i don't miss the internet.

i have been productive.

but it is good to be back.

two minds

gareth pugh

&

rick owens

you two are beyond brilliant.

[orgasmic] 

B R I L L I A N T

IM GOING TO DO SOMETHING DRASTIC.

no, im not cutting up my debit/credit card.

nor am i freezing them (in which i did think about)

but instead im just going to be strong and leave the babies at home. that way no matter what i can't spend a cent.

maybe i should have started this months ago, but at least im trying to figure out a way to help my disease now instead of never. i feel like my minute spending everyday is adding up. if im going to move im going to have to be smart and just do something about it. i guess we will see how long this works.. i dont know if it'll last long, "FML"

  

mind reader.

im showing complete pity right now.

im ashamed of it but i have to get it off of my chest.

im totally rocking the sad face.

my days seem long yet my time feels short.

october seems to be the month for freedom.

yet i feel like im not even prepared.

and i know that i am not.

i want and long for so much more.

i long for faces and relationship.

yet i am needing to figure out MYSELF.

i am NOT independent.

i hate that i feel like i need someone to hold my hand.

i hate that i never have that- i hate that i dont know where my father is.

i hate that i don't hear from him and i know he is so close.

i don't have support from friends, or family.

and in general i dont even know who my friends and family are.

i feel stuck.

i want to get out.

i feel like i am not being able to do this on my own (in my mind)

i want to SAY that i am capable of anything i put my mind to,

but when no one has words of encouragement how can i believe it.

im destined to do better things.

i want to be the person i don't feel like i can be right now.

i want to be strong

i want to feel love.

i will always support you

i will always show you how i feel.

i want to be shown the same.

i really would like to not worry and trust that everything is going to be okay.

and that October IS IN FACT the RIGHT month of freedom (for me)

(kisses palm of hand and blows a kiss to the sky saying thankyou)