keep me

i hang up the phone and it's like instant panic attack.

then comes tears. 

i might seem to be holding myself together but god i have a shitty way of letting people know how i feel. (im starting to realize this)

it isn't that i just can't or that i don't want to, i just want to express how i feel physically as well as through words and im not able to do that right this second. but im not giving up or acting out these feelings (i only want him) 

distance is something that can be conquered i have always said but that doesn't mean that i can't hate it. And let me just say that i do dislike it but adding more between us (ahhh) ill live.

i want you to "get your shit together" as we say. 

and i think you are doing this for the best, for you. 

and i wish you had other options.. but i'm sure you can't wait! 

i just want to see you is all. 

im sorry if im quiet you bring out this whole other side of me. 

-goodnight.